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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Rearing Dumb Children


We very often get the comment about how smart our children are-especially when they are little babies. I may be sticking my neck out on a limb writing this post, but I think that we do not give children credit for how intelligent they really are. They learn how to manipulate and play people at a very early age, while their parents are sitting by saying, "Oh, he's just a baby, he doesn't know what he's doing." When the parents decide that it is finally time to start training their child, the parents want to throw their hands in the air and say that it is impossible. What a lot of parents don't realize is that they HAVE ALREADY TRAINED their children at a very early age that it is ok to throw temper tantrums to get what they want. It is ok to run away when called since it is just a game. It is ok to make a mess with their food because it is so cute. When the parents decide that the child is now old enough to train, the parents are actually trying to untrain what they have already trained the first two or three years of life. They have trained their children to be dumb.
Here are some things that we have found that work for us.
As soon as we can tell that our baby is purposely reaching for things, we start showing them things that they cannot have, so they will learn what the word "No" means. I usually start with a plastic bag because I am always nervous that they will put one over their head. When the child reaches for the bag, just pull the child's hand away and say "No." Keep repeating the process for a few minutes until they learn the lesson. Throughout the day for the next few days we have the same lesson over and over. Eventually, the child learns what "No" means. It does not take long either, and it's a lot easier to do that than to keep hiding things from your child.
Accidentally, I have also taught my children at a very young age to "Come here." Before I pick them up, I always hold out my hands to my baby and say, "Do you want to come here?" or "Come here." When they start crawling, they already know what "Come here" means. Eventually, they will decide that, "Come here" is not an option they want to take. When that time comes, we sit down and make them come over and over again. It really pays off. Sierra is only 18 months, but she comes when called-most of the time.
Some churches are not really supportive of this next item, but thankfully ours encourages it. We sit our children in church from day one. Of course, in the beginning I have to occasionally take them out to change their diaper or feed them, but they are so used to sitting in church and being quiet that people are amazed at how well behaved they are when we visit other churches.
We also train our children to just "Sit there." When Spencer started doing this with Zach I thought he was so mean, but I can't tell you how helpful it has been. Just sit the child down and say, "Sit there." When the child moves to get up, put them back down and say, "No, sit there." It has been so useful for me...at the doctor's office, at kindergarten graduation practice, etc. There would have been no way that I could have gone those places and done those things with four children if they had not learned the valuable lesson of sitting. Even Sierra again knows how to, "Sit there."
I am now working on teaching the children how to help clean house. I'm a little behind times on this especially where Zach is concerned. However, I have noticed how much happier my children are when they are involved in Mom's world. They stop the fighting, fussing, and tattling because they are getting attention that they desire. Brittany and Sierra love to load and unload the dishwasher. Of course there are certain items that they cannot do yet, but that will come as they get bigger. Brittany is always proud of how big and grown up she is when she does a "grown up" job. Zach isn't so big on house work, but he is awesome at "Man's" work. However, he is getting pretty good at folding laundry.

Sierra also knows how to put her shoes in the shoe drawer. I just had to say put your shoes in the drawer and show her how to do it, and she caught on. It's so amazing.
I don't want to train my children how to do grownup work so they can take my place, but I do want them know how to do things so they will learn not to be selfish, love helping others, know how to run the house when they are on their own, etc. I think it's just a win-win situation all around.
I get a lot of my ideas from No Greater Joy. They are linked on my blog under the parenting link.

Things Only Children Can Get Away With At PCC

First of all, let me just say that I never dreamed that one day I would take my little children for a visit to my Alma Mater. I don't know if I just did not think that I would get that far in life or what, but it just did not cross my mind. Obviously I just had to take pictures of them and their chinanigans when we got there. Some things I did capture and some things I did not because I was in such a hurry to correct them. Here are some pictures of our family time down there.

Brittany and I iceskating on some very rough ice. She was going forward, pulling me along by the second time around.

Sierra did not like the sand at the beach at first. She thought it was "Gucky."

She's our prissy one.

Zach playing a new and much improved carpet golf game. At least it's new and improved since the last time I was there.

Always be prepared when you go to the beach-or Christian College Beach as Zach called it. I took swim suits for the kids but not towels, sunscreen or suitable beach attire for Spencer and I. I was just too lazy to go back to the motel room and get stuff for us. I reasoned it away that the kids would only play at the very edge of the water-WHAT WAS I THINKING! Brittany (my dare devil) decided to go a little farther out than the other two. She started getting carried away by the waves and I had to jump into waist deep water to rescue her. Totally uncomfortable to wear a completely wet, sandy, long jean skirt.

Zach and Brittany standing BEHIND the "protective" rope. Oh my goodness, are they actually touching that wall?!

Sliding backwards down the Dale Horton Auditorium stairs. Moira is looking at Zach like she would like to do it too.

Our kids on the umbrella rack

(Looks comfortable)

While we were there, Zach and Brittany had this terrible fascination for the monkey grass and bushes. I don't know why, but they thought the stuff was put there just for them to walk through and hide behind. There were several time that I was running to pull them out of the jungle decorations before they got caught.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


The five of us. Posted by Picasa

Sarah Graduated!


Sarah graduated from highschool! We all went down to PCC to watch her officially graduate from the ABEKA Academy. We are so proud of her. She has not had it easy at all. Life has not been stable for her, and halfway through her Junior year she moved up here and lived with us for a few months and then with Peter and Amanda for a few months, then back with us again for six more months. A few months after she began her Senior year, she started working a full time job. She would get up at 4:30 and 5:00 in the morning to do her school work, and head into work at 9:00. I hope she gets to relax some at college and has an amazing however many decades she decides to do schooling. Posted by Picasa

Sarah and friend, Selena from Texas. Posted by Picasa

Happy Rakel and Randy


Rakel and her little boy. She and Rodney have another one on the way. She's about 14 weeks along. Posted by Picasa

What a good looking bunch!


Most of us stayed at the same hotel. This was shortly after we got there. Posted by Picasa

Mom and her kids


Mom directing traffic. JUST LOOK AT THE CAMERA WOULD YA! Posted by Picasa

Cousins


Peter and Amanda with a lot of nieces and nephews-just think three are missing! Posted by Picasa

All of us Together


Here's the gang except for Dad, Revka's kids, and Rodney-Rakel's husband. That's a lot of family on the Dale Horton steps. Why is Sarah with all the little kids? Posted by Picasa

Sarah with some friends she made while waiting in the graduation line. There were 255 of them all together. Posted by Picasa

Monday, May 22, 2006

Survey from Lynlee

About Me
Copy this into your own blog. :)

I told you somebody told me to do this.........:)
[Shoe size]
7 1/2
[Parents still together]
Yes and No - they are not divorced, but my dad refuses to claim my mom and she refuses not to be claimed. They've been married 32 years.
[Siblings]
3 Sisters and one brother - Revka-28, Rakel- 26, Peter-25 and Sarah-17
[Pets]
No - I highly dislike animals
FAVORITES
[Colors]
Light Purple and Blue
[Number]
none
[Animals]
Fish -they don't lick you or leave messes everywhere
[Drinks]
Flavored Coffee-mostly in the winter Lemon-berry slush from Sonic in the summer
[Sodas]
Sprite
[Books]
The Bible, Interesting Biographies
[Flowers]
I like bright flowers for my yard. Spencer just bought me some petunias, and I plan to add some impatiens too. I love to see my purple irises in the spring time
DO YOU/HAVE YOU
[Color your hair?]
Yes, my sister Rakel gave me some stuff to lighten my hair, and after I ran out, I have never been able to find it again. I really liked it too.
[Twirl your hair?]
No
[Have tattoos?]
no
[Have Piercings]
No
[Cheat on tests/homework?]
Yes, in 7th grade I was being plain lazy and trying to be cool and cheated on my Bible test. Most of the time I let people cheat off of me. I also did their homework for them
[Drink/Smoke?]
No
[Like roller coasters?]
Yes, within reason.
[Wish you could live somewhere else?]
Sometimes. Statesville, NC or Western North Carolina or Tennessee would be a nice place-I think.
[Want more piercings?]
I would love to pierce my ears, but Spencer's not big on the idea
[Like cleaning?]
Depends on how mad I am that day!
[Write in cursive or print?]
Cursive.
[Own a web cam?]
No.
[Know how to drive?]
Yes, but kind of rusty since Spencer does most of it. When I offer to drive on a road trip, he always says, "I'm not that tired yet!"
[Own a cell phone?]
No
[Ever get off the computer?]
I'd better do that right now. Will finish this later.
[Been in a fist fight?]
No, not unless you consider fighting with your sister legitimate
[Considered a life of crime?]
No
[Said you were sorry but didn't mean it]
Yes.
[Lied to someone?]
Yes, usually it's not even a planned thing, then I have to fight with myself to go back and make it right.
[Lied about your age/weight?]
No
[Made out with JUST a friend?]
No
[Been fired from a job?]
No
[Used someone]
No, not that I know of.
[Been used?]
Probably more than once
[Torn those tags off of pillows, at the risk of serving "hard time" in prison?]
Duh! That tag says that the consumer can!
[Had complete unconditional love for someone?]
Yes
[Stolen anything?]
No.
[Held a gun]
Yes - my husband loves hunting and guns. We went for target practice when I was pregnant with Zach
CURRENTS
[Current clothing]
Jean skirt and short sleeve sweater
[Current mood]
Tired
[Current taste]
Traditional with a lot of trendy thrown in
[What you currently smell like]
Just clean. Colognes bother my allergies.
[Current hairstyle]
Brown hair cut just above the shoulders and flipped out on the ends
[Current thing I ought to be doing]
Cleaning my house while the children are sleeping
[Current cd in stereo]
Jack and Jill went up the Hill. You know who has been listening to CD's more than I!
[Last book you read]
My Bible.
[Last movie you saw]
Porky Pig--Are you seeing the same trend I am? Do I need a life of my own or what?
[Last thing you ate]
Pancakes with apple butter on top.
[Last person you talked to on the phone]
Spencer on his voice mail.
[Do drugs?]
No.
[Believe there is life on other planets?]
No.
[Bite your fingernails?]
I broke that habit a long time ago-it was hard too!
[Bite people's heads off]
Yes, especially certain times. Mostly to close family. I try to keep a handle on it, that does not make for a happy marriage.
[Read the newspaper?]
Sometimes, mostly online.
[Unfairly judge others?]
I am a pretty good judge on the first meeting, and I always give someone another chance just to make sure I'm right.
[Believe in miracles?]
Of Course
[Do well in school?]
Yes.
[Believe in God?]
Yes
[Hate yourself?]
No
[Have an obsession?]
Yes, to get this baby belly gone.
[Collect anything?]
I have a few ceramic bears, and a few Christmas village pieces
[Have a best friend?]
Only Spencer. I had a best friend in high school that did not work out so well. Now I just have a lot of good friends.
[Close friends?]
Yes. Some especially close ones.
[Like your handwriting?]
Yes.
[Care about looks]
Yes. That's partly why my family got upset with me when I would not date certain people. I know that is seriously shallow, but I'm happy with who I married.
LOVE LIFE
[First crush]
A guy named Mark Lineberry. I was going into the fourth grade and he was about 15. He worked at a camp I attended and was sooo nice. He tried to show me how to play baseball and gave me a little velvet New Testament which I kept for a very long time.
[First kiss]
Spencer
[Do you believe in love at first sight?]
Not really-I think that's infatuation. Love is for someone you know.
[Do you believe in "the one?"]
Absolutely
[Are you a tease?]
No
[Too shy to make the first move?]
Yes definitely. I think that's a guy's place anyway. You can always tell what a kind of girl it is that does make the first move.
ARE YOU?
[A Daydreamer]
Yes.
[Intellectual]
No
[Sarcastic]
Very much so
["Crushing" on someone]
No-I'm crushed on my husband
[Having a sense of humor]
Definitely.
[Shy]
Sometimes.
[Talkative]
Definitely

We threw a going away/graduation party for Sarah. It was a Texas/cowboy theme. We had plenty of food and desserts, games, and a good time. Posted by Picasa

Spencer having too much fun with the pinata rope. Posted by Picasa

One of the boys trying to crack open the candy box. Posted by Picasa

Most of the youth group. Is that a gang of girls? Posted by Picasa

My mom and Spencer's mom. Posted by Picasa

Ohhhh, the candy! Posted by Picasa

Of course, we had to have Sarah give a swing at the pinata.

Mema was trying to teach my mom how to whistle like a man. Do you think she can do it? Posted by Picasa

Love Zach's soccer/cowboy outfit. Posted by Picasa

We played a relay race. The "cowboy" had to ride his horse to the waiting lady at the other end. The lady then had to run the horse back to the next waiting "cowboy." Posted by Picasa

Sarah running the horse back to the waiting man. Posted by Picasa

Papa "racing" Posted by Picasa

Posted the state of Texas all over a best friend's back. Posted by Picasa